She woke up excited about the day. she new parts of it might be hard and yet what the end result would bring was well worth any struggle and pain. She grabbed a cup of coffee as she heard her dad honk for her. At the same time her sister, brother and her mother all arrived sending her off with hugs and kisses waiting with glorious anticipation for the time she came back. She did every single thing she was told to do...without hesitation, on time...everything...then came this morning when she was suppose to be driving home with them...she was told that she wouldn't be able to see her two year old boys for maybe another four months...it had already been four...she did everything right she kept telling herself over and over and over again so she didn't loose control in the courtroom..in front of the judge and everyone...I showed up even though she had absolutely no desire to face him again...all the pain and heartache comes flooding into her mind and that is all pushed away in favor of seeing her precious babies...and yet... He didn't show up for court. Up came the rage, up came the pain, up came the shame and guilt, the coulda, woulda & shoulda's...all to the surface and she heard like she was in an echo chamber "you will need to file all the paperwork again AND...it may not be until March...." BOOM!!! Like an atomic bomb dropped on the world, it had shaken the flimsy foundation upon which she was standing that morning.She was in such pain, masked by rage, that she simply stormed out of the courtroom not waiting for a dismissal by the judge. She went to her dads car and sat a minute and took a long gasp of air into her lungs only to choke it back out through the snot sucking sobbing that was the only thing she could do. They were pulling in the driveway to see family on the front porch waiting to see these precious boys AND YET...she didn't have them. So she had to explain it to lots of people; always right after the pain is tucked away just right...someone else would want to know where her boys were...she had family all around and yet something, some part of her was missing...Thanksgiving....she has convinced herself is no big deal without her babies and the idea of celebrating Christmas without them causes the gap in her chest cavity to ebb and flow with more pain than she ever realized. I, as this woman's neighbor feel lead to go...go ask her....open up that wound all over again AND YET...I listen....I hear the pain, I can feel the pain as I grab her arm and I get closer and tell her 'I am here for you!' And I mean that with every fiber in my being...right...next....door....I cannot nor do I desire to make everything 'better' for her or make everything 'go away'...this is her wilderness....what I can do and desire to do is walk along side her...listen to what she isn't saying as much as what I hear her say...and just be there... This, to me, is being God with skin on. Love & Grace.