Sheesssshhhh.

So I just want to say so I know God knows and anyone that reads this blog knows...I love Jesus. I love what He has accomplished in my life, taking me from making alters to Satan and worshipping Satan to being a sold-out, in love Jesus freak. Having said that...I cannot subscribe to anyone or anything that has to do with a 'prosperity' message. I truly believe that GOD is big enough to reveal Himself to me in his own time; in his own way. PERIOD. Listening or reading how others came to all they have doesn't do it for me...i could give a crap less what anyone has...what does AND WILL ALWAYS continue to move me is the state of your heart. People who have nothing to do with Jesus love...and love large... I see this person that use to be in my life slipping into quoting a pastor who preaches prosperity and it scares me...she has lost that 'I don't believe in the prosperity' message soul she use to have and it makes me very, very sad. God blessed me abundantly with BPD & the ability to live in low income status I mean low income...I am surrounded by people who barely have enough to make ends meet...and I dig it... All my trials are recognized as God's love for me today. I don't need to keep trying to convince myself AND OTHERS what God has done for me...you can see it...you can hear it... I pray to you God, that I always have a heart that knows what you have done for me; that I am able to let go of my ego enough to recognize I am but a crumb....and no, I am not going to qualify that. I MUST REMAIN HUMBLE...i do not need to keep feeding myself with meaningless words about who you are and what you can do for me... I do not live in a place that I practice 'sinner awareness'...I know what I have done and most importantly I KNOW what God has done...that is all... PS sometimes I get guilt from people who ask me 'are you mad at churches or religion'? today i think about it...the rebellion, the anger, the 'its not far and not what God wants' is not me...I am not angry with any charter demonination...I needed to have God reach me without a body..God to me..that is all...there is a lot I don't understand about religion and its ways...what I was taught...but angry no... LET US NEVER FORGET THE WAY TO GOD JESUS IS A PROCESS....MAY WE ALL LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE LONG ENOUGH FOR THEM TO FIND THEIR OWN WAY... FOR OR AGAINST...CHRISTIANS...LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE!!! Love & Grace.