Falling In Love With Mondays...

Maybe because they don't signal the "beginning of another work week' for me I am not sure but...Monday's are slowly becoming my most favorites day... Favorite because I have stuff that I have lazed around with all weekend and left strewn around my home...Monday is the day I wake up, shoot for being quiet for about a half hour....then I get motating....with dishes, vacuuming, laundry...ya know keeping my house a home... Things I truly never, ever cared about I find I do since in this new one-bedroom home. I LOVE it here...I have been here since August 19th, 2014 and the person that I am...the person that I continue to be evolving to be...I dig her... I recently had to send a friend a "kindred spirit" an email telling her I wasn't getting what I needed from my relationship with her....I didn't enjoy doing it over an email as that is the way a person ended a ten year relationship with me so I had reservations however...the growing angst and pain in my heart...became unbearable..her lack of response to my comments her not participating after making a gynormous deal of not being 'invited' to my blog...no communication from her that I had always known so...i removed my footprint from her life...more importantly I removed hers from mine... I attempted to upon several emails and discussions through email to let her know what was going on with me and it was never heard...i know not everyone has all day every day at home...i am not stupid...I GET IT...but to not even be able to communicate with me when you are already online...again...i think it was just time...ya know when you feel the change in your gut...you need to listen to it... Just for the record she is a beautiful woman...truly. Ummm I think I am learning that some relationships are simply seasonal...however long the season is... I am not a fly by night kind of friend...i do however almost require and maybe even expect some communication other than the weather...i want to know how people are growing and thriving and falling in love with themselves every day...i don't like placating, surface crap I never have...that is me...and I recognize today that my personality type...well it just doesn't match with many others... So I am not feeling guilty about saying 'I don't know where to go from here'...I am not feeling guilty about putting my needs ahead of someone who I don't communicate with much anymore...I just refuse to...no matter what level of spinning out my head my head may go....it can go there by itself because my heart & My God are okay with the decision...I am more centered and at peace with in my life than I ever have been...I don't NEED people...I truly don't...especially now that I am independent financially...I have a best friend who loves me no matter what..who understands my mental stuff and one is enough for me...she loves me through and through... I am sure this other lady loved me at the capacity she can...I just need to be shown...zip the lip..it creates no satisfaction....show me. So on this Monday, the last Monday of October...I am free...free to be me and all that means and I dig it. I wish you well Becky; thank you and may you continue on your journey of removing layers to get to the 'real' you. Love & Grace.